Drained.. you are not doing the wrong thing. You are doing what you need to. I am looking up to you right now thinking "Man, that girl has got her stuff together!"
You have to be prepared mentally, emotionally, physically, and finacially if your AH does not get his *hit together, and that is exactally what you are doing. You are very smart for what you are doing because by the sounds of it, your AH may never get it.
Even though he is "clean" (so he sais) he is missing out on his "Recovery" by not wanting do deal with his issues, and THAT will determine a big part of his future..
Don't for one second doubt yourself Drained... not for a second!