Now I'm resentful. Arrrrrgh!!!
The other day, my AB said he needed more space. Fine, I thought. We agreed that he would start by spending Thursday nights at his own place and then I would come over Fridays for the night. After that we could re-evaluate. Baby steps. I know it was the right thing to do because I was doing too much for him. Right now, I do his laundry, do most of the cooking and keep him company because he doesn't have a lot of friends yet who aren't alcoholics, heavy drinkers or drug users. (Yet he blames me for him not doing the things he wants. Well, excuse me if I don't want to play golf.)
I hated the thought that he wanted to distance himself from me, but if he doesn't the relationship is only going to deteriorate. He kept saying that he needed a life (read a job). I get that. A man needs a job. Well, bang! Yesterday, he got a couple of job offers and they're amazing. When he got back to my place last night, he couldn't wait to tell me. Here's the problem; I'm happy for him, but I'm also jealous.
I'm jealous because I don't like my job. I'm jealous because he's a about to step into a glamourous job that I could only dream of having. And I'm resentful because I feel like I've been taking care of him and I don't feel like my efforts are recognized or appreciated.
And then it gets confusing because I don't know what I want.