I get your anger. I catch myself aiming anger and resentment at people who don't deserve it - pretty much anyone I see drinking.
For example, I went to a road race and saw someone I work with waiting to register. I said hello and we started discussing reasons why we wouldn't run as fast as we should. Mine was because I hadn't run regularly in months. His reason...he went out drinking the night before. Suddenly, I hated him. I turned my back to him and didn't carry on the conversation.
This is just some guy I happen to work with - and I hate him? I hardly know the guy - and I'm taking it personally, the way a codie does. No, I don't hate HIM. I just haven't forgiven myself for things that weren't my fault. I haven't forgiven my XABF. I haven't forgiven my parents for not teaching me skills that some "lucky" folks learn growing up...things like self-esteem, self-validation, self-worth, and boundry setting. And I hate and resent it all, then aim it at everyone and everthing that reminds me of it until I work it completely through. Watch out!
Just recognizing that and having patience with myself makes it easier on me and quells the anger and resentment a bit.