Taking other's inventory
I’ve been trying to work on not being judgmental…really focusing on it; trying to catch myself in the act and rework my thinking. Interestingly enough, when it comes to addiction and recovery, I think I have let go of most judgment and can put principles before personality more times than not.
My struggle is in the day to day world. There are just certain people who make me uncomfortable, annoy the heck out of me, try my patience or who I just think are slimy. Some I can choose to avoid and rather than judge, just accept that I don’t have to like everyone, but some I do have to work with or I’m related to them, etc. I find it hard not to start taking their inventory, even though I know it isn’t good for anyone.
Case in point today….I’m on a working group and a member brought in someone else on his staff who tends to do everything possible to take a doomsday approach to things, criticize every suggestion and to undermine teamwork. I suspect it’s because if a project fails, he doesn’t have to work…but here I am taking his inventory. He is also a person that gives me chills…just something very uncomfortable about being in his presence…It bothers me quite a bit that I was passing judgment and yet in this case, I haven’t been able to get past it. I not only thought these things, I said something to the other member. I did express it in terms of telling him he is a better person than I am for trying to work with this guy, but I don’t think my motivation for the comment was pure…I wanted him to know how I felt...I hate being manipulated but here I am manipulating another by such comments. I’m not happy with myself about that.
The only thing I have been able to do is ask HP for some guidance. I suspect he is the one who put the thought in my head to post here for some thoughts and experience.
What has helped you avoid taking other people’s inventory?
Hugs!