((((DW))))
Hang in there...you are really showing strength, and someday your daughter will remember that. Look at the other option, in that had you not taken steps toward change, your daughter would have remembered a Mom who would take it in the chin, regardless of how rotten the behavior.
Maybe you could sit and explain that you gave him choices, because of the need to keep the family safe and happy, and he's not making good ones right now, and that like all of us here, there's always hope that he will begin to make better choices.
Perhaps she would understand too that one of the reasons its good for her to meet with him at her grams is so he doesn't get himself in more trouble, such as emailing and talking to her when he's not allowed.
This doesn't have to be forever...but it has to be for now. You may want to curb the conversations with the friend regarding what he says...it just keeps you in the game.
I know how hard this is...
((((hugs))))
Cece