I respect everyones opinion but I just would like to say something. The more you tell an abused wife to leave, or make her feel guilty by bringing up her kids the more likely she would stay in the relationship. I believe abuse and addiction is not hand on hand. So now she is dealing with two major issues. She made the first step by coming here and opening up by asking for suggestion, advice and telling her story. Now is the time we need to stand by her, be gentle cause she is very fragile right now and we dont want her to feel like she has no place to go to turn to. She also called a DV counselor thats great and I am proud of her.
I understand when we here about abuse we just want to say get out of there, run, and so on. But are all in different levels in our recovery and we need to meet the person where they are at not where we are at.
DW, I agree with a lot that has been said here and I also don't believe that he was raped in prison. Your husband has physically and mentally abused you for so long. He knows exactly what to say to you to make you feel bad for him.
You need to think about your safety and your kids safety. You need to have a plan just in case you need to leave on a moments notice. Have money put away. And know you are a strong woman and doing what needs to be done and if you can try not to have any contact with him. He probably would twist and turn everything to make you believe him.
Hugs,
Jewel