Excellent job. You sound much stronger today and that is great!
Often abusive behavior can be learned. It's important to remember that you also have children that could learn this behavior if it continues around them. It is too bad that AH's dad doesn't see the light, but many parents who are new to realizing their child is an addict have problems accepting it.
However, the more you "do" for yourself the more you will learn that when people say things like what your FIL said, it's just words, it means nothing, YOU know in your heart what is right and it becomes easier to forgive someone's ignorance.
Hugs!