You are responsible for your children and they can be taken away from you and put in foster care, do you realize that?
I know some of us feel like we are being harsh, but everything is at stake here...your life, really...as in tombstone.....and your innocent children who deserve protection and safety...physically and emotionally. And you owe them that.
Please take some time to read the stickies at the tops of the forums! Please!
You also need help beyond what we can provide on the net. The best, kindest help I got was from a DV counselor and that is free. Will you call and make an appmt, if not for you, for your children?
Both of these suggestions are free things you can do and are not particularly difficult or unreasonable. What have you to lose by it?
I propose you will gain insight, strength and opportunity.
The next battle you may die. The next battle your neighbor may call 911 and you will both go to jail and your children will be taken into protective custody.