well the addict in my life is my hubby right now, we've been together off and on for 21 yrs, more off than on. i do know where you are right now. you are not being selfish, and it really helps me to be able to share with you about your situation, the program teaches that i can't keep what i have unless i give it away, so you see, that you are helping me too. keep reading the other post around here and you will see that a lot of us are still struggling with the same struggles as you. thats how we help each other.jmho