Thread: help
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Old 06-11-2007, 10:23 AM
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drainedwife
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Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: jacksonville, florida
Posts: 341
help

well on wednesday i go to court to get a perm. RO unless my ah agrees to certain things like going to get evaluated for substance abuse and gets into a treatment program, and also goes to anger management. if he disagrees with these things than we go for the permanent RO. and may have to go to trial. Im not sure about the filing for divorce issue. i think we do that regardless to protect me financially.
anyway, my ah is in such denial. he does not beleive he is an addict. he sent me one email questioning that he might be, that maybe he just cant see it and maybe i am right...but now his last one says that he is not an addict, what happened, do i really want a divorce.???
He has never gone on binges and dispeared for any periods of time. he can be a good guy when he is not using..he was never abusive to me before the drugs.

here is his history with drugs:
he did coke in high school and early twenties.
stopped when we were dating (i think, or else just recreational use) and throughout our marriage until about 4 yrs. ago (?) when he started ordering some drugs on the internet and was seeking painkillers through dr.s ending up with oxycontin. eventually he started snorting the oxycontin. last winter/spring i took him to a addiction dr. who put him on suboxone and he stopped the oxycontin. he still taked the suboxone. but then he started with the cok again and has been using ever since with maybe a few weeks in between of not using (maybe). right now maybe he has stopped for a few weeks but im not sure about that either. during the past year hs has told me he has stopped but i would always find evidence to the contrary. also during the past yr. and a half if i approached him with thiings he didnt want to discuss (finding whit powder residue on bathroom counter or cash advances) he would usually get red in the face and start yelling at me and then it would escalte and about 6 times he has grabbed me, or put his hands around my neck, (not choking). this past time was when my daughter was present and starting hitting him to let go of mommy. now, you tell me...is this an addict??? is this someone who can quit on his own??? is this someone i can trust???? he also started watching porn recently, but i guess thats all related to the drugs...but that really makes my skin crawl.
i just feel bad because he cant seem to see through his denial at all......
advice??????????????
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