Hello gang,
I'm wondering about things again
I'm wondering if this is about me. A characted default or something. I'm losing friends and am starting to wonder if I know how to be one.
Although the ones I have lost lately have been kinda toxic and I gotta admit that I've been a bit relief to be rid of those. But still it hurts to loose people even if they were toxic.
This latest one is at work and thus is bothering me a bit since I cannot totally get away and it feels a bit akward. There's this group of toxic people here who enjoy putting anyone else down and my friend sadly decided to join their gang. Now I'm left with dealing with my codependy by not starting to twist over backwards to get her back. It's not easy. Still when I get a thought that, in the old days I would have mailed her, now I stop myself and don't sent it. She's been a bit nasty to me lately and I feel like I'm trying to act like nothing is wrong if I act nice to her so I just don't do anything. The strange part is that I don't even know what I can do. Should I just talk to her? And say what? It feels like something is broken and cannot be fixed. I'm wondering if it's me that broke it. Is this the same cycle that I went through with my ex-A but just different version?
Has anyone else here lost friends?
The thing that makes me wonder if it's me applies to this board too. I don't know how to offer support to you guys since I'm not living my A anymore and still haven't started on the meetings regularly. I don't know. I'm not thinking too clearly at the moment.
Later,
Chess