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Old 06-10-2007, 06:08 AM
  # 21 (permalink)  
MeggieStar
Starry Girl
 
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Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Starry Night
Posts: 251
He won't get raped, that' a load of bull. You need to take what he says with a grain of salt. My AH once read a book that referred to his addiction as "a beast" or rather an animal with no feelings or conscious. Perhaps if you think of your AH as an animal, backed into a corner, who will kill to get out of it, it will be easier to realize what he is trying to do to you.

You speak of his manipulation, but let me say this:

Do you realize you are also manipulating?

How often have you said, "I think it's best if he.." "I dont think jail is the right place for him..." "He needs...." "If I tell his parents that He has to live with them..." "I'll allow the kids visitation...."

That is a codie brand of manipulation, trying to control outcomes, so we stay in control. The problem is, we aren't control and never have been and never will be of ANYONE but ourselves. And when our attempts to manipulate the outcomes continutally fail, we live in constant insanity, fear, doubt and anger.

Pretend you are your best friend. What would you tell her? To drop the R.O. so her husband doesn't have to "suffer" in jail? Or that Jail isn't so bad, that many addicts have seen the light when they go to jail, that at least he'll have a roof over his head and three square meals a day?

As far as how his parents feel, that isn't up to you? What makes you think it is? You have no rights on how they feel. You have no control over it. And as far as the kids well....I told my son that Daddy was sick and needed to live in a different house to try and get better, when he went to rehab. I didn't spell it all out for him but told him t he basics in terms he understood.

Hugs, now start getting some help for yourself or you WILL just keep writing the same threads over and over and you WILL just be running in circles.
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