i thought i would had out grew my past as most people would
but it didn't trun out that way. It came back up and bit me in the ass.
While looking back at my childhood was painful..living life the way I so..
wasn't too healty and painful also. While not as bad as it was when
I was a child and when life throws me a cruve ball or a get the blues..
it can spyro into a depression quick.
it came up...i guess it was time for me to rid of it.
i needed to surround myself by people that can guide through it.
People that understood me and had been there like i was and
had found a way out.
Just telling myself I love myself everyday was a beginning.
I had to do it..As corny as it was..i had to start reparenting
myself.
I'm like you ..i'm the middle child or the lost child. i spent
a lot of time in my world to escape. I have friends, but
very few close friends...for the most part, nobody hang out with me
from day to day..Most people think I'm shy or i live a private life.
Bascially I feel like I'm as lost soul, a lost person or forgotten..
Sometimes i think god is just a prankster..Played a big ass joke on me.
However...you and i are so much alike in so many ways and perhapes
life is unfair...Life did not single us out..We're not alone in all of this.
I guess it's healing in a way...i didn't think anyone would understand me.
Maybe that's part of my shyness. i kept all those things inside of me
for all those years, becuase i didn't think anyone cared or understood
what i was saying..i thouhgt it was piontless to talke about it to anyone.
yeap..it plays into codependency..big time...for me it did.