QT, stick to your guns.
They do bond with each other in rehab, that's normal, and they are very selfish in early recovery, that's normal too. BUT for him to specify keeping in touch with the women, and not the men, well that's common but NOT ok! Recovering addicts really should try to stick to their own gender (unless they're gay). He's just trying to pull something on you. Sounds like the jealous type to me, which means insecure and immature.
Expect him to put AA first, and his recovery first, if he's serious about it, but keep in mind that often they use 'recovery' as an excuse to keep drinking and womanizing.
I do hear resentments, but who could blame you?? You're on a roller coaster, like it or not. You may need your own space to work on your own issues like the build up of resentments, and then you wouldn't have to watch all the nonsense he goes through in early recovery.