Cognitive Dissonance
I've become aware lately of this extreme cognitive dissonance inside of me (you know something IS right, but you FEEL quite the opposite which creates internal, mental conflict.)
Seems that the two parts of my brain - I love this man unconditionally/I want to believe in his inherent goods/that he loves me and the other part that says 'You deserve more. He has hurt you and does to respect himself or you and this is evident by his actions.'
When I act out on either ends of this spectrum I have an extreme case of cognitive dissonance so that nothing seems to feel right.
I feel the "After-burn" no matter what choice I make and I am wondering if this ever stops? Seems no matter what I choose I still have to deal with the conflicting emotion of not choosing the other course of action and I end up feeling confused and awful regardless.