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Old 06-09-2007, 06:30 AM
  # 5 (permalink)  
HKAngel24
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Philadelphia
Posts: 518
Ashley-
It's so hard to see the big picture. We are so disillusioned and in fact in a way that we WANT to be it seems.
I, too, do not feel myself strong enough to take the leap of faith in which I believe I deserve more. I can SAY it to myself but actually knowing what that means for me in ACTIONS is a whole other story.
Do what you can and do not beat yourself up for what you're not ready to do yet. One of my biggest challenges has been accepting the fact that nothing I say or do will make him want recovery. In trying to change him I am merely chasing after a mirage of water in the desert that keeps disappearing the closer I get to it. When I use the tools I can (changing myself and my thoughts and my actions- which right now feels incredibly wrong and I feel incredibly undeserving) then something is in my hands.
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