Live
I grew up around it. My childhood household was filled with it from time to time but not from my father.
I also have a sister who lived through many years of hiding it from people. (30 years of marriage before she said enough)
I also know my own inner self and what it took to get me where I am today.
I have never been physical in my abuse but there were times I came real close.
Verbal and emotional... Yes I know them well.
To give my opinion I would say...run for the hills and don't look back.
To give of my experiences... I will say and have always said.... Let actions and time tell each and every one of us what kind of changes have taken place (if any)
An abusive person, an alcoholic, an addict, an enabling codie.... Not one of them will change anything till that person seeks to change what they know is wrong.
An abusive person can change *if they seek and want the answers and ways needed to change* I know two that changed and I know two that I don't think will ever change...no matter how many times the courts say...take another anger management class.
Ok those are the facts as I have experienced them.
If I think only of the two that didn't change, I would say...that no one will ever change. (anger management, AA, NA, Counselors ... nothing works for the person not wanting to change)
If I think only on the two that did change, I would say that all people can and do change. (and they can But..."IF" they want to and seek answers and work their program.)
The answer can only be found the same way as always... time and actions over time.
Do you wait for the change or do you cut ties? If so how long? From what distance? With what boundaries?
That is not for me to answer. If there is a physical abuse... the wise counsel of shelters and abuse support systems I would suggest following fully though.