i imagine it sounds like i'm not really paying you all and your advice much attention, but i am, i think that its only a matter of making that decision. letting go completely is something that i just didnt want to do but i do know that its time. this time, it don't feel like all the other times, i do feel the end and i'm just i guess i'm now accepting this fact. yall please don't give up on me right now, i have no one else to help me through all of this