I am not willing to "surrender".
I can really relate. I am very young in my sobriety so I am determined to at least give some of my local meetings a chance - mostly because I feel a desperate need to be at physical group meeting with others like me - but, for lots of reasons, I suspect I may also be one of the people for whom 12-step-based programs don't work.
Your post reminded me that, if that's the case, it's okay. There are many other paths. Thank you