I understand what you mean about adjusting to not being blacked out. It feels really good to actually remember what happened yesterday. Speaking of thinking you used, I had a drunk dream last night. I haven't had one in a while, but it was so vivid. Like, I'd run out of alcohol and I was with my best friend and I was trying to get to the liquor store before it closed without her noticing and I was flipping out because I didn't want to be without alcohol for the night. It felt so real... it was scary. The emotions, the kind that can't be conveyed in words because they are everything - panic, fear, obsession, anxiety, guilt... they were all swarming around in my head. I can't believe I lived like that not too long ago. I'm just so glad I don't feel that way anymore.