((Guinevere))
Our AD is also 29 yrs old, pregnant with her 3rd child. She doesn't have custody of the other 2 children due to her addiction. She is using off & on during this pregnancy & living with her abusive boyfriend.
I, too had to seperate the "Mom" feelings (not easy, but it helps) and look at her as an adult. She has been thru an inpatient treatment and knows what to do when she is ready to start her recovery again.
So, I had to set the boundaries
can't come to our home while under the influence - she hardly ever visits. Has been there once since Christmas
Boyfriend not allowed in our home, I will not go to their house.
I will occasionally buy maternity clothes for her or baby clothes, but will not give her any money.
When she is using, my statement to her is "Your disease will not allow you to be totally honest with me, so therefore I need to end this conversation. I love you and good-bye for now." Then I hang up the phone.
Usually then I call a Program friend, and scream or cry my eyes out, but at least I'm setting boundaries with her and distancing myself from her drug abuse.
Maybe you can write down what you want to say in the session, so that you don't forget because of emotions racing during the meeting.
Wishing you & your family peace
Rita