Teke,
First things first....you need to concentrate on taking healthy care of yourself. No one can tell you what exactly that is for you, but you know. Do you think you'd be able to manage, today, if you removed yourself from the house? Or would leaving the kids put more stress on you? Just think it through, Teke, about what would make YOU feel better at this point.
As you are experiencing, sometimes the truth is very painful. But Teke I've learned that no matter how painful, the lies have to be exposed in order for us to heal....lies all the way around. I just know I've had to face lies from the addict and then the lies (of denial) I had been telling myself. It was hard, Teke, but oh so worth it.
Trust God. He will get you through this. Step into the light (of truth), Teke. It will be bright. It will be painful. Give yourself time to adjust to this truth. And then take action to take HEALTHY CARE OF YOURSELF.
And re your kids....they are more perceptive, I bet, than you know. They will see their dad for what he is.
Just put your faith in your HP Teke. He's brought you to this point and I KNOW that he will NOT leave you now. Hang on, Teke. Just walk through the pain to the peace one day at a time.
Big hugs and prayers for you and your children,
Hangin' In