try to stop taking the Abf 's inventory and start taking your own.take a look at your own character defects bec. only then will you be prepared to accept your own challenge, which very well may be to get up and move on. become the right person to attract the right person.If his behav is unacceptable to you sounds like you can seek info on detachment with love. Get some Alanon literature at mtgs.Best wishes