i don't go around my father often becuase he treats me like that
drink or sober. Nothing i did was never good enough for that man..
yeap..sounds so familer. I didn't approve of anthing I did or is doing..
Everytime I have contact with that man...I use to laid in bed for
days after having an enounter with him..it's is 5 years after I'm sober.
I imagine if he ever dose sober up, he would probably tell me i'm working
my program wrong or not doing it right.
The man never actually raised me or gave me any living tools..he simply
just pionted out all of my fualts or punished me. i basically had to
try to figure everything out on my own or i constantly lived in fear.
He'll always tell me to straighten up or do the right think...The problem
was...i didn't know how and he never gave me any directions except
punishment or critiism.
I can write a piece of music and he will critisize me right off the bat.
he never attended any of my ball games as I was growning up.
He never attended any of my concerts.
But everytime , if you wanna talk about what's really up, he'll just
blow it off..
Well...I finally had enough courage to tell the man to go to fcuken hell.
He is in total denial of it..but he'll think twice before he starts going
off on me again...
I've have had enough of the abuse. While there's no pyhsical abuse
done to me as an adult..the mental and emotional abuse that man
cuase to me is something else.
it totally sucks...becuase it hurts me a lot to that to my father.
i love my father..but the thing of it is..he treats me like sheit.
he might treat everybody else nice or the cat good, but he still
treats me like sheit..
Well..i don't need that sheit, not anymore.
There was never a loving relationship to begin with..
I've been barking up the wrong tree all these years
and no, it's not what I though life would be, or how things are suppose
to be..it is what it is..and i had to accept it.
I don't need him in my life anymore. I can do without it
I been spending a lot of my time and energy trying to reparent myself.
I choose to do it clean and sober becuase i hate my father...
I hate what alcohism has done to me..i want nothing to be like him.
He can take all of of his money, welth , title and sholve it up his ass..
maybe that's why he hates me so much..
but oh well...my life is more important than trying to please that man,
which is imposisable me or coming from me...
abuse is abuse...drunk or sober, rich or poor..