Originally Posted by
okay4now 
I don't feel like I'm doing good. We were supposed to get married. I feel
self-absorbed & not there emotionally for my daughter. I still can hug and kiss
her but I feel like the twinkle in my eye is missing.
I did leave him a message. I said that he cannot do that to our daughter.
That was the last straw.
Aren't I scary? I imagine he'll call by mid-week. I'm thinking about turning the
phones off. I don't want to hurt him. He does care. He needs to go back to
rehab - VA only gave him 14 days. I know he hates himself for this.
But I am learning to not care.
I just meant that your doing ok because you are recognizing the problem-your not in denial. You are putting your daughter first and looking out for her best interests.
I'm sure he does hate himself right now. My ex used to hate himself, too. I guess I will never understand why a person could hate something they are doing and still do it and not try at least to do ANYTHING they could to get better. My ex put himself in rehab twice in one year and relapsed again after 2 weeks both times. He would then say, "rehab doesn't work for me". I think the problem was that he didn't work for it! They say that many times a person has to go and try over and over b-4 they get it right. They have to change their whole life.
I hear you that you don't want to hurt him, that you two were going to be married. I'm sure that he doesn't want to hurt you two. I know that it hurts a lot to lose your man to addiction. I wish crack would have never been invented!! I still feel a lot of anger at my ex for what he did to me and our relationship, but I do care about him still-I do not have contact with him anymore because it hurts me all over again. I hope that he gets better even if i never see him again, and I hope that your man gets the help he needs to overcome this. If you cut off contact it might help him to realize that this is something that is way out of control and it may knock some sense into him. Lets hope so.