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Old 06-01-2007, 02:22 PM
  # 6 (permalink)  
BigSis
On a tear
 
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Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Volcano Country!
Posts: 3,221
For me, the difference is in expressing my experience, or even my opinion, but letting go of the expectation that I can force another person to agree... or to even hear me. That helps "draw a line" for me. ... mostly.

Lately, I've been struggling with my son in law. He is immature ...to the point of being almost disabled. He comes from a difficult background (don't we all...) and has jumped with my daughter right into marriage, a baby and one on the way.... and he can't seem to figure out how to work more than 2 days a week.

sigh.

I want SO BAD to just sit him down and explain to him that

BABIES COME FIRST, YOU MAROOON!!!!

.. but when I tried that earlier this week, he walked away before the first sentence was out of my mouth, with a "whatever...".

.....And so then my hair caught fire. Ok, not literally - but you can imagine.

So... no one was arrested, but this week has been difficult. And one where I am working on MY part in resentments, communication, directness, control, anger, fear, .... lots of things. I want to be DIRECT.... but I have to accept that he may just walk away. I can't FORCE HIM to hear me!!

Because I cannot control him. I cannot even begin to get through to him. I want to soooo much. I want to open the top of his head and just pour some information into his brain - about how to work hard, how to accept what life offers, how things work (like if you don't write your time on the time card, it does NOT make it better to scream at the employer when your check is short!).

Anyway. This topic is good for me. Most of them are.



Thanks, Cynay.
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