Hi,
You are in the right place. They are MANY MOMS here that have the same type stories, heartache and pain. I have been on here for only 3weeks but I am much stronger and more sane than in 5 years. My heart breaks for you, and I also know they rage and anger.
One thing I am sure of there is faith, hope, and love, "and the greatest of these is love". Keep posting, go back and read about all our kids and you will feel right at home. There is a lot of wisdom and kindness here.
Welcome,
susan