Originally Posted by LaTeeDa

I didn't really realize how programmed I was until I started dating recently. I found myself rationalizing the good points of a guy I dated a few times and totally minimizing the red flags. It took some real soul searching to honestly admit what I was doing and admit that some sick part of me was still trying to be needed--without regard to WHO it was who was needing me. Or more accurately, needing to be needed by someone who treated me like a second-class citizen.

The flip side is that I was also dating someone who is gentle and kind and an intellectual equal, and I nearly rejected the possibility of continuing to get to know him. I told myself that he 'wasn't my type' 'didn't feel any attraction' etc. I almost blew him off because he wasn't overbearing, controlling, and disrespectful. I learned that I still have a ways to go in recovery. I'm very pleased that I was able to recognize my unhealthy behavior, though, and move to correct it.