Diane, Sending hugs...I think you know what works for you, so trust yourself. There is lots of great expereince and hope in the responses you received. I know this is very hard for you and for your SS too...Those desperate calls are tough and it is sad to hear them pleading. I personally like the idea of a letter...I think for me..if I was in that situation, writing one would be comforting to me because I'd think it would be comforting to my kid. But that is just me...we all are different and htere is no magic answer. Hugs and prayers