Hey Rozied,
You know that you and I are in the same boat.
I know your pain, I know the bleating of the addict for his momma. It's pitiful, and it tears our hearts out.
As a parent who loves our son, the pain of their suffering causes us twice the pain. But, without their going through the consequenses of their own actions, how will they ever learn to stop doing it? And, if we continue to enable, then the pain continues and never stops for us and our child.
As I write, I am talking to myself too, Rozied.
You are being strong, and you are doing the right thing. He will eventually get the message and stop calling. He'll settle into the life he made and he'll live with it. Then, one day he will get out. And with any luck and sense he'll wonder if that's what he wants for the rest of his life.
Keep the faith, lean on God. Things get better. I have been through the jail things with my youngest non addicted son for 9 years now. I hardly know him since he was 17 because all but 1.5 years of this time he's been in jail.
Now the older is in jail because of drugging.
I have all my children in jail Rozied. But, God is helping me through this. I actually have many good days with peace in my heart about the whole mess.
You will too. It will come to you.
Take care my friend.