It is one of the most difficult things to do - not taking the phone calls. I've done it both ways and find that there isn't an easy answer. Just do what you belive is best and stick to it. My son is an older addict, too. We don't love them any less. It's very hard to watch such wasted lives. I did find that the times my son was incarcerated, I would up worrying less after the initial shock. I knew there was nothing I could do and actually found some peace in that because as long as there was a way to "help", I'd be there.
I hope you find peace during the storm.
I care. Washbe