why do I want him back?
Why do I keep remembering the good times, only?
Why do I keep making excuses for his bad behavior (including email flirting with other women?)
Why am I so angry that he can be so functional as a functional addict - maybe he is right, maybe I am just not "cool" enough to party and do pot?
Why do I keep hoping that he will crash and burn and change and come back?
I wonder if he ever really loved me or if I am really any different than his previous f**ck buddy. I want someone to tell me that I did mean something (alot) to him, but his actions show that he clearly chose alcohol and his pot/addict buddies over me.
How do all of you deal with these kinds of thoughts and feelings?