Guinea,
Write this down and memorize it.
The 3 C's: You didn't CAUSE it, you can't CURE it, and you can't CONTROL it, his disease of addiction, that is.
Now repeat that after me. "I didn't CAUSE it, I can't CURE it, and I can't CONTROL it."
Again.....again.....again....
You are NOT crazy. You have an addicted person in your life who would love to blame you so he doesn't have to take a good look at himself. Doing that would require that he admit he has a problem. And remember, addiction is a family disease. It sucks us in and makes us all question our thinking.
Again, the 3 C's. Remember them, repeat them.
And if you don't already go to face to face meetings, I'd recommend finding an Al Anon or Nar Anon meeting and start attending. They, along with this board, have helped me so much.
Hang in there. You can get better and your mind can become more clear.
Hugs and prayers,
Hangin' In