A Predicament
Hi...having a bad time with my AH. He's in detox again until Tuesday,and insurance won't approve him for the 28 day program even though he is willing. COBRA runs out early July. The last year of my life has been a subway (not a roller coaster because they have "ups"). AH got so bad that he couldn't walk last summer, then three doctors confirmed he would die if he kept drinking. His brain shrunk to an 80 year old's size. His psych had me, the codependent, detox him in August. It was hell and full of dt's but he stayed sober for 4 months but no AA, and I had a glimpse of happiness.
All of 2007 he's been back to drinking and wreaking havoc everywhere. He broke his leg getting out of the car in early March after drinking and driving for 2 hours. I thought that would be his "bottom" but guess not. The surgery and hospital bills are over $28,000 but mostly covered by insurance. We bought a business over 1 1/2 years ago that is now doing poorly because of this and me not being able to give my energy to it. I know all about detachment from Al Anon and psychologist, but the one thing I can't figure out is how to get out of harms way. What I mean is how do I stop him from taking me down with him? What if he breaks more limbs or gets in a car wreck or we get sued when he hurts someone else while driving? What if we lose the business? What if I do divorce him, how do we divide the house and business? I still love him after 9 years of marriage, but with the constant drama and stress, I'm now physically ill for 3 weeks. It seems like no matter what I do, I lose. It's not fair and this is such a lonely road that I don't deserve. Any advice?