Many scary times....never thought I would be in any of it. Sleeping with someone...not really knowing just HOW drugged they really were.....waking to check for breathing each night.....
Detox.....death and back to life again.....from a human just showing up, to clarity in sobriety.....driving so they do not get behind the wheel.....crazy.
I am now FREE OF THIS. big sigh......
My heart goes out to you. The largest sign like you said, is grieving the loss of letting go of any outcome. I just tell myself, he is a very ill man. It is the disease and the sickness. It is his choice to live that way, whether I walk on egg shells, do handstands, or simply run circles around the situations.....IT JUST DOES NOT MATTER> It is what it is,.....the addiction wins.