(((Ok4now))))
I have to agree with the above... even if he is sober, folks new in recovery have very limited abilities and resources, sometimes. For many, ALL the focus has to be on recovery, or there won't BE any "leftover" for anyone.
If you were a single mom, what would you do? Are there respite services available? Is there anyone from work willing to stop by and give a hand? Someone from the church? A community volunteer? Other relatives?
What I know about me is that I spent a great deal of time being a Martyr. (note the captial "M"). If I couldn't get what I deserved (needed, but also DESERVED) I wouldn't SAY anything... not to you, anyway. I would say it to my mom or my sis or my friends... and then WAIT for YOU to come and help. And if I got SOOOooo bad that I had to ASK... well, by then I had such a resentment going, it wouldn't matter what you did, it wouldn't be enough.
Today, after years in program, I know MY resentments are based on expectations... I have an expectation that doesn't get met, I get a resentment. THen I get angry and hurt... and the only one who feels that pain.... is me.
Today, I also know that the only way to reduce my resentments is to lower my expectations... sometimes, all the way to zero. If I have low or no expectations, then whatever outcome I receive is just that.. an outcome. And it may not meet my needs, but I don't get angry or resentful... I just figure out "Plan B".
I hope this helps.
(((hugs))))