Rough Week
My b/f relapsed from crack last weekend. I had to go to the ER Mon. & they
almost admitted me but settled for IV antibiotics. My foot, ankle and leg swelled up
and a red line appeared. I have cellulitis and phlebitis. That means I have an
infection in my leg (don't know why) and it went into my veins. I am on bedrest and
on antibiotics. Single mom on bedrest - not good. Have to keep my leg elevated so
I don't get a blood clot. Then my daughter gets strep throat.
Well, I called my A. from the ER to let him know I was there. I don't know why.
He just stood us up for the weekend. He told me that even though he had 65 days
clean - he went to the Quick Trip to get gas on the way to a mtg. and his ex-
dealer was there. The ex asked him if he needed anything and "that was that" and
there went the paycheck. I heard sorry, I love you, what do I tell our daughter and
that is what we call a "slip".
He calls again on Wed. to see how I am - very, very crabby. I told him to call
me after he ate dinner and could talk nice to me. See, I asked for help because I
am not supposed to walk or stand. Told him I needed help with dishes, take the
trash etc., cook some burgers. He said, "You want ME to come there after
working all day (10.5 hrs.) to wash YOUR dishes". I told him that our daughter has
2 parents but only half a one right now. Call me when you can talk nice to me. I
never, ever heard him talk like this.
Well, Mr. Crabby came over the next day and did help. I have never seen him so
crabby. I am imagining that he is this way because he used crack on Fri., Sat., Sun.
and got off his meds those days and didn't eat. I did not know this man.
He said he is trying to stay clean. It is not easy. He is happy that out of 68 days
he used only 3. I told him sorry but I see it as he's been home for 10 mths. and
has been straight for 65 days. Very supportive, huh?
Well, he kissed our daughter good-night and said see you tomorrow. He didn't show
up or call.
I am sad. I am sad because there doesn't look like a future and my poor daughter.
And I saw the Dr. today and he said that I'm supposed to be waited on thru the
weekend. Without my b/f, that is impossible.
My brother tells me to be kind and patient while my A. is trying to be clean and
there will be relaspes. I am tired of being kind and patient - I need help. What
about my needs?