Please don't ever refer to yourself as an idiot. I look at it this way, information is power, and because I didn't have this power 5 years ago, or even a year ago, it didn't make me an idiot, it made me un-informed.
I too used to dread holidays, and basically every weekend....then I wondered why? He drinks EVERY day...so why should I let him ruin it for me? I thought he would behave BETTER, just because it was a holiday? (haha) Joke was on me, after the tenth or twentieth holiday spent miserable......not any more.
Have a GREAT day!