Thanks kj0975, I wish that I had the ability to look into the future several years from now to know that this is the right decision and that his life will keep going downhill. It would make it easier to get over him b/c then I could quit clinging to the hope that he won't always be like this and things will get better and where will I be then?
When I hear other people talk about similar situations I see things SO clearly, that the addicts in their lives will probably never change and the probability of getting sucked down with them is very high and much more likely to happen than the miracle of them changing.
kj0975- I'm glad that you got out before it was too late and that's what I did by separating from that lifestyle, I never meant to separate from HIM but that's what ended up happening b/c he wasn't going to change with me. It sucks but at least I'm not doing coke 3 days a week anymore, it was a scary place many times and I was tired of the way it made me feel, sometimes I did it just b/c everyone else was doing it. I have felt so much stronger spiritually since I quit doing it about 7 months ago but there's an ache in my heart without my beloved exbf, I know I'll always love him...and also fear for him as long as crack is a part of his life.