I'm sorry that your mind is going crazy for your son, I know it's easy to let one thought lead to another and I know it's much much worse for a mother than for me, my xabf dominates my thoughts nearly every day since he broke up with me in January and once I found out he was smoking crack, I didn't know how I was going to get through some of the days I've experienced in the last couple of months. It's maddening to worry constantly about how they are, or what they're doing or if they are even safe. I just hope that if anything serious were to happen that someone would let me know. I'm sorry for the pain you're feeling, especially as a caring and loving parent.