(((((Marian))))) I know exactly what you are going through, well, maybe not entirely exactly, but bout as close as you can get. My AS is there too. I just pray, and pray, and pray, and sometimes when I'm too tired to think about it, I fall asleep without praying, but then I wake up praying. I don't have a clue what God's purpose is for our addicts. Maybe they just need to be made stronger through trials and tribulations. My prayers are with you and your family. I am thankful that your grandson is safe with you.