I tried very hard to believe in God. Everyone I was raised around did, or at least attended a religious institution with an element of sincerity about it.
I tried being Catholic (some of my family is), but it didn't feel "right"- though I credit a couple of excellent priests in educating me and not pressuring me- answering questions without judgement and with honesty.
I went back to Judaism, which has always been a sort of "default" setting for me- I love our traditions (mostly), our food (mostly), and our borscht belt humour (totally). I also love the social justice elements (not saying other religions lack them, I just like the interpretation within Judaism). But. But, I didn't quite catch the God element. I felt very guilty about this for a while.
Something Ann Druyan said at the Beyond Belief conference really struck home with me (I had already given up on trying to believe in God, but was still a bit sad about it- it was a loss of sorts)- what she said involved a member of her family (possibly her father) coming to his father, an old, very traditional Jew, and saying that he was not going to do it any more- not going to fast for the High Holy Days, not going to tie on the tfillim, not going to pray, none of it. Because he just did not believe. He was afraid his father would disown him, but what he said was:
"The only sin would be to pretend."
An enormous weight was lifted from my mind when I heard her tell about this. In order to live an honest life, I need to not pretend. This is the basicness of it. There are things about various religions which bother me (lots of things, lots of religions), but that's not so important as the idea of living an honest life.
God does not make sense, never has, and trying to force it to make sense brought a lot of distress. It was living a lie. Won't do it any more.