relapse after 2 years
I wrote about my daughter crossing boundaries, not exchanging her well pump and taking showers here and laundry [lots of it], while a friend offered to install it for her if she would just go pick it up. I went to a meeting Monday nite after realizing I was obsessing and also feeling resentment. I stopped at her house on the way home to talk to her. When I got there she said that she wanted to be by herself and i told her that we needed to talk about boundaries. I told her I loved her and the baby but not more showers and no more laundry, she could drop the baby off a half hour before she was due for work but he needed to be picked up right after work. She yessed me to death, I repeated I loved her and the baby but as long as I was allowing her to make herself at home at my home, she wasn't doing what she needed to do and I didn't want to start telling her what to do. Next day when I get home from work about 230 shes here just getting out of the shower and feeding herself and the baby. I told her she had to leave and to come back to drop the baby off at 400. She never came back, I tried to call at 430 and no answer. In the meantime, my oldest daughter came by with my birthday present and we jumped on the bike to exchange my new jeans for a different size. We went to dunkin donuts for coffee and just had a great couple of hours. This morning while at my first visit[home health nurse], my boss called me and wanted me to come to the office. I went, he was waiting for me outside and sat me down. Proceeded to tell me that my supervisors son[also an addict], had told his mom that he saw Desiree at the gas station up the street from her house naked with only a blanket on at 430 AM. I left and went to my daughters house, its filthy, my grandson was in bed at 1000 AM and didn't even have a diaper on[he's 1 1/2]. I told her to give him to me or I would call the police and she handed him over. I went back later for his carseat and some clothes and she was still out of it. I asked her if she was on crack and she said YES. WHO CARES? [pity party for her]. I threw a lamp at her[I know, it was wrong, I wish it hit her], and told her to just OD and get it over with rather than going thru this again. [Dont forget, Keith has been dead only 10 weeks].She told me to F___ Off. I left, my mom came to my house to watch the baby while I finished my visits and I will be dropping him off at her house in the mornings, picking him up after work for now. I didn't call the police, I did ask her if she wanted to go to rehab and she said no, she didn't need it......Thanx Nancy for listening last nite and thanx all for being here. I feel angry, disgusted and sad, but not heart broken. I am thanking god for the series of events that led me to my grandson right away instead of a much worse outcome. He is safe. I can't save her but I can protect myself and Him....Marian