What I'm reading here is that you have stepped away from all the drama and pain of life with an addict......things are going well and looking even better for the future.
Then, active crack addict reappears....might want to go to rehab if you'll take him back. Oh! But there is a catch....you are 1st on the list and if you don't want him then he's going to the 2nd on the list. Sounds like an extremely bad version of THE BACHELOR to me.
Sometimes it just helps to hear it mirrored back when you are in the throws of a dilemma. You have had a taste of your own recovery and let that guide you on what the right decision is for you. Like an addict that becomes ready for recovery....you are ready to live and be happy when you are ready.
My RAH did put down the crack pipe/needle 22 months ago. It has been the hardest and most painful 22 months of my life. Yes - he is sober and moving forward. He has done the deal but no one will ever understand how difficult it is to be in a relationship with someone that has rewired their brain and the healing that has to occur. I love my husband deeply and I'm glad that he has made it this far. I cannot honestly tell you that for me - it's worth it. It is what it is and I'm deeply appreciative that we are where we are today....but.......is what I have today worth what I've had to go through. No. It's not.
Write it down - see what you need to see and trust yourself to do the next right thing. Remember - that always involves taking care of yourself, your needs, and your happiness first.
Good luck and keep us posted on how you are doing. I'm thinking about you. Donna