Welcome to SR! You'll find a lot of support here, I know I have. I understand a lot of the emotions you're feeling right now. My xabf hasn't tried to contact me for 5 weeks since he came over to house back on crack after a month of forced rehab. I think he feels ashamed and doesn't want to have to change, which he would have to do if he wanted to be in my life.
I'm finally realizing that now it's really over between us because we haven't talked lately (we were together for 5 years and broke up 4 and 1/2 months ago). I wonder too if he's miraculously gotten better and has a new gf but that is ridiculous. Chances are that he will be on that road to self destruction for quite some time but I know it's hard to accept b/c you remember all of those great times and the way they used to treat you. Believe me, I felt like I was living in a fairy tale at one point too, but you can't change the way that things have become. For me, that is the hardest thing to accept, that he has chosen to continue to be an addict and block out the people who love him because they make him realize what he's doing to himself. He's not ready to change and I can't change him or where he's at. It sucks but I know that the sooner I accept it, the better off I'll be and the sooner I'll be able to get on with my life.
You are SOOO lucky you didn't get hep!!! Good for you for being strong!
You've come to a great place here, we all go through so many emotions and phases and it's great that everyone here really cares and can give you some of the best advice you will ever get because of their experience. Keep posting!