cinder, i TOTALLY understand what you are saying, my own mom said to me when i first moved here "so are you finally done with him yet" HELLOOOO he's my husband, i still love him, and no, until hes dead i am not "done", i'm doing the best i can but hes a human being and i can't just give up all hope on him, even if i move on and divorce him and remarry i will always miss and love him. and yes, i think it is easier for other family members to detach but for us spouses, we have no one else to turn to, we've lost our best friends, lovers, support everything. it just plains sucks, so go ahead and vent all you want.