I recall thinking AS would be better off dead. My thought was actually selfish. I hated the agonizing feelings I had and somehow thought his being dead would ease them.
That was a long time ago. By the grace of HP and Alanon, I know today his life has a purpose.
He works with younger inmates and uses his life as an example for them, encouraging them to make better choices. He has corresponded with their families.
Two families showed up as character witnesses for him at his last sentencing hearing. They told the judge how much he had helped them and their sons. He can't change his circumstances for the time being, however he feels he has a spiritual purpose while incarcerated. That is Grace.