liesagain, i think that when he's really ready to get better, it won't matter what you do or don't do, say or don't say, he'll do it because he NEEDS to get better for himself.
when i finally got sick of myself, it didn't matter if i had a family or not to go to, it wasn't because of them and the fact that they were there, it was because i couldn't take me anymore. they could have never wanted to see me again, i still wanted to get clean and sober, it was for me.
i tried to do it for my family, again for my job, again because of legal issues, again for this reason or that reason, but when i really got ready, there were no more reasons to get sober because of other than i thought that if i didn't, i was gonna die out there. i think that unless he gets clean and sober for himself, it is likely that it won't last long.
in my opinion, when my ah thinks that he is on the verge of losing the things he want to most, that gives him something to fight for, as long as he knows that we are somewhere waiting, he finds it a little easier to continue his drug use. i know as long as i thought my family was there and my life was sort of on the shelf waiting on me, i took my time about trying to get better.
sometimes it does take for an addict to lose all or to think that they've lost all, before they have that strong determination to do whatever it takes to get clean and stay clean.