jewelz, the more i think about how i went on that rage the days coming up to my ah's relapse, it makes sense what someone said about internalizing and being just about at the breaking point. i think, looking over a lot of the post, isn't it kind of common for us to go through those stages or something like that?
i would do all i could to stay calm and not feed into his drama but every once in a while, i felt like just letting him have it. probably didn't do the situation any good but it did make me feel better for a minute. i keep waiting to think that the dumb stuff that i've done and wasn't suppose to do, was the worst things that i ever could have done, but then its his job to make me feel that way, i guess so i won't act that way again. my ah would try to make me feel like the idiot for acting out because of the way i felt behind his behavior. ok, maynot make sense, i'm just thinking