I think when people decide to do it on their own at home, this implies that they think it wil be a matter of will power, that not drinking is a matter of the mind. If and when medical intervention is needed, there's no way to know how bad it will get or what particular medical situation may present itself. These sympotoms do not present themselves right away, sometimes it's the third or fifth day. He may not be at home.
I'm an RN and if we were stranded on a desert island, I could probably remove your appendix successfully or deliver your baby if I had to, I think you'd appreciate knowing that I at least read a book about it first before attempting to do it.
Your man wanted to binge, with you joining him and start taking the pills the same day he was starting a new job. So far, not an impressive plan.
If he starts to shake, do you call 911? What if he starts to shake harder? Do you call 911? What is he starts sweating and shaking? Will it get worse or is that as bad as it will get? There is no way to know and you have four babies in the house that restrict you ability to tend to you man, to drive him anywhere. Even the professional people at the hospital don't know how bad it will be, they treat the symptoms before them. If you see even one symptom that makes you anxious, call 911 then. You have agreed to participate in this home detox. I would leave as little judgement as possible. I would refuse to judge a medical situation. Call 911. It would be very odd is he had no symptoms, it would imply he's drinking. It isn't impossible but beyond the scope of anything you should have to figure out. Detoxing at home is selfish,nothing he should expect you to participate in or be witnessed by your kids. I would agree to allow this at home with one stipulation that he would agree to right up front, at any time I felt uncomfotable I will call 911. If he has delerium and hits you hurting you, who's going to be there to protect those babies?
You are allowed to change your mind about this. I get the sense that you think consider manditory in facility detox a lack of support on your part. It isn't, it's a good sound medical decision.
I'm hoping he is the exception to the rule. If this doesnt' work, do it on your terms not his.